For five years, I have withstood the call of alcohol. Despite the stress, anxiety, depression, and attempts to end my life, I was able to say no to alcohol. Avoiding liquor had been one of my doctors' prescriptions. Anxiety disorder? Avoid alcohol. Major depression? Avoid alcohol. Uric acid? Avoid alcohol. One would think it's stupid to return to the intoxicating embrace of alcohol after everything I've been through. But, when everyone else failed to show up, only alcohol remained.
I am not an alcoholic, nor am I proud of the prospect of becoming one. I am known by many to hate the feeling of getting drunk and it lasting till morning. So the typical question people would ask me is why I turn to alcohol when I'm feeling down? Do I want to double down on the sadness? Do I wanna simulate death? Haha. The answer is, I think alcohol numbs my brain just right to forget the baggage I am carrying. I believe alcohol helps me sleep well. Not always. Just when I need it.
P. S. This is me feeling tipsy already.
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