One of the most classic and profound quotes there ever was is from Antoine de Saint-Exupery's work, "Le Petit Prince" or more fondly known as "The Little Prince". The quote goes, "It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye." When reading this story as a child, I felt like it did not make any sense and I felt that it was incoherent. It turns out, I was just lacking real life experience with which to connect these nuances from the book.
When I was in my first year of college, I had my first love. He was so fascinated with this book that he had this as his bio, as his cover photo, and he even gave me the MOST BEAUTIFUL BOOKMARK I've ever had in my life. Sadly, I lost it somehow (Maybe it's the universe telling to move on without any strings attached haha). Through him, I was able to understand the meaning of the story and experience it. To be fair, the book has a lot of quotable quotes and this one's not my favorite. But, it's undeniable that it has the most impact out of all.
Why am I having a recollection of "The Little Prince"? Tonight, I snapped at my boyfriend. I was ranting to him about my ST and my students and generally things about work. The thing is that, people are not taking their parts seriously nowadays. My ST keeps on being late,skipping her class observations, and sleeping at the back of the classroom. My students keep on slacking around and not submitting their school work. DepEd keeps on focusing on menial tasks and nitpicking instead of bringing real change. Politicians and fucking DPWH contractors corrupts funds that can be used in helping our country. I was so pent up and frustrated with things. I was explaining to him that my ST's demeanor is not like a 4th year college student who will be a full-fledged teacher in a few months. I said, she can't keep doing this because if she continues this way, she'll only become one of the teachers whom the kids don't deserve. Hearing that, my boyfriend replied, "E kasi di naman sya bayad dyan. May makukuha ba sya pag ginalingan nya?" (pertaining to not doing a good job because technically it's not required like doing the bare minimum only). I got so upset that I lashed out. I finally told him some things I've been keeping inside me because of the fear that it might upset him. I said not all things are measured by money. Sometimes we must do things because it's good, it's right. I'm not paying her to respect me or she's not paid or graded by being locked in at her work. But it's decency. It's honorable. It's right. I was so upset that I said that his mindset is like the corrupt politicians that he so hate. I called their bullshit that when they have the power to do what they can and do more because they have the influence but they don't do it because they don't have kickback, that is our society's CANCER. I called him cancer. Straight to his face. Hindi lahat ng bagay kelangan tapalan ng pera para gawin nang maayos. This time, I was not afraid to upset him. I felt liberated. Finally I told him what I wanted to say for the longest time he's been demeaning my work.
He quieted and apologized after this incident. Of course, it's not mature of me to just let it pass without addressing it. I want us to be okay but I don't want to be a pushover. I hugged him and firmly told him that I give high regards to my profession. The system is shit but the work we do is honorable. I said I feel frustrated and offended by him sometimes because he demeans my work. I said to him, "Siguro dahil matagal ka nang di nagtuturo at nawalan ka na ng amor sa pagtuturo kaya hindi mo na ko naiintindihan. Pero ang trabaho ko ay marangal. Hindi lahat kelangan i-monetize para gawin." There are things in life, essential and meaningful things, that cannot and will never be bought by money. Sometimes you do it because it feels good to do it, because it's right to do so. He once again apologized.
I hope he really got the message this time. There was a time that we almost broke up because of my boundaries being crossed. I drew a line again today. I'm hoping to dear God he got the message because I cannot marry someone who cannot understand my core values. Nevertheless, I still carry this hope with me because just like me, his former self was a dreamer. I just wish he still have that in him.
